How Scott Went From ‘Weak Flow‘ to Pee’ing Like a Horse …
This is a story about my good buddy Scott.
and … his life of quiet desperation as he dealt with ill prostate health.
Scott was the type that would never give up.
He was always difficult to beat.
No matter what sport, pastime or activity .. he loved to win and didn’t like losing.
But …
Scott was about to experience the biggest most challenging battle of his life.
Scott and I go way back … we were best buddies in high school.
At 59 he showed no signs of slowing down.
A travelling photocopier salesman during the day … and a devoted grandfather who loved to keep fit, healthy and active the rest of the time.
He loved life and loved living it to the fullest.
Being fit, active and healthy into his older years was extremely important to him.
“I’ll get all the rest I need when I die” he was famous for saying.
Little did Scott know about the life changing challenges that lay ahead of him …
Scott looked tired lately .. not just the dark circles under the eyes tired but the clumsy, spaced out kinda of tiredness you get from prolonged sleep deprivation.
His inner battles surfaced on a warm spring day as we finished our regular Sunday morning round of golf.
The banter continued to the locker restroom’s as we stood elbow to elbow to pee.
“Are you just going to just stand there holding it or is my presence making you feel insecure” I said to him teasingly, half laughing, as I finished up my business.
His head dropped, he looked down into the urinals and there was an uncomfortable, embarrassing silence.
We got showered and dressed and grabbed a coffee and he confided in me everything about his life of quiet desperation.
Even though we were close, I had no idea what he was going through and I could see how difficult this was for him to share.
The humiliating restroom incident was just one of many embarrassing and anxious situations Scott had to deal with …
His work life was suffering.
Driving to meetings was became a challenge …
Restroom stops were planned ahead of time in case he got caught short.
Bumps on the road or the simple act of sneezing could cause unwanted dribble’s.
Black suit pants became his permanent dress code as he feared going into meetings with a visible circular wet patch that would call out the attention of others.
“I walk into a meeting and it feels like everyone is looking at me James, you know looking down at my crotch”.
Every single aspect of Scott’s life was affected.
From work, to sleep, even intimate bedroom activities stopped.
Night times were no better. 3 to 5 visits to the bathroom and that was on a good night.
Scott frustratingly revealed …
“Just as I drop off I wake up with the urge to go again … I used to pee like a horse but now it’s drip, drip, drip or pee just shoots out uncontrollably all over the toilet … whats worse is sometimes I want to go so dam badly but I never feel like I’ve emptied properly”.
“I just want my life back again … to be able to sleep and function like a normal man again”
This once confident, strong and assured buddy of mine was turning into a self conscious, anxious, withering wreck of debilitating fear and anxiety.
Scott went to the Doctor for tests … PSA, urine culture check and an embarrassing rectal examination.
As tough as he was, he hated Doctors or any invasion into his privacy.
His medical test results came back and it was not the news Scott wanted to hear…
Scott’s Doctor gave him the following ultimatum … “your prostate is very enlarged and surgery is recommended, ideally now, but definitely within 6 months”.
We got the results of his PSA levels several weeks later and they were ok but would be checked again upon on his next visit.
We met up again and he opened up to me about his fears.
“I’ve worked so hard all of my life to keep fit, active and healthy, watched what I eat and then this happens to me!”
“What if I can’t play with my grandchildren anymore”?
“What if I can no longer be active or socialise … I’d rather be dead”
“What if this anxiety and self consciousness gets too much for me to go out”?
We had a mutual friend in high school that sadly died. Kyle was a bright, talented guy who was full of energy that died suddenly whilst having gallbladder surgery.
I later learned that since Kyle’s death, Scott was absolutely terrified of the Doctor, hospital’s and surgery.
“I just can’t go through with it … surgery is just not an option for me”
So, despite pressure from the Doctor and from his wife, we decided there and then, against the their recommendations, to find another way that didn’t involve surgery and find alternative means.
We made a pact that if his health remained the same or his condition worsened after 6 months, he’d have to opt for surgery.
We broke the news to his wife Jo-Ann about his decision and she was furious. From that point onwards, I was no longer welcome in their home.
Scott retired from our social circle. I helped him research potential solutions. I was the only person he had to support him in this decision.
We searched for hours online until our eyes could not say open any longer.
We went through a rollercoaster of emotions, setbacks and false hopes.
We read through the countless experiences of others … the complications of the various surgical procedures which only added to his fear.
There were many other men that had the same condition as Scott that opted for surgery and were left with irreversible, life challenging conditions.
I could see the fear and anxiety deepen in him and the clock was ticking.
In a desperate attempt to avoid surgery we tried everything … from Flowmax to Cialis and many more.
We’d see some initial improvement but that would only last a week or two.
It was one challenge after another. Setback after setback.
Then we had the side effects …
Dizziness, depression, blurred vision and sleep problems.
This came to an all time low 2 months in.
His poor performance at work was noticeable. He was late, unorganised and not functioning to his normal potential.
His boss called him at home one evening and told him to not visit the client he had scheduled to meet the next day, just come into the office as he needed to talk to him.
Scott was worried … “what if I lose my job”?
“I can’t handle any more worry and stress”.
His boss was firm but fair and told him to take some time off and get better because he couldn’t continue the way it was.
On one hand this was a devastating blow for him but at least he had more time to research and find a solution.
But being at home all the time put a further strain on Scott’s marriage.
It was becoming too much for his wife. Not only did he refuse to take the Doctors recommendations against her wishes, he also wasn’t working and wasn’t helping out around the home.
Scott stopped exercising, he was depressed, lethargic and spending all of his time laying on the couch in front of the computer screen.
During a recent chat, he told me that he’d made up his mind, no more medications unless they were 100% natural.
Dealing with the side effects of pharmaceutical medicines was a challenge in itself and it put further obstacles in Scott’s near impossible quest.
I welcomed his decision. I was a big believer of nature as medicine and never understood how the body could heal by putting toxic, chemicals inside.
Despite all of the challenges, we both knew that there had to be some natural solution.
We tested and tried many so called ‘natural medicines’.
Some worked for a short while … some had no effect.
One day, close to giving up … we found something …
It was like finding a needle in the hay. We found a solution that was working and … it continued to work.
With literally no side effects.
Why wasn’t this product a household name?
Why are billions of men suffering and not being told of these natural solutions?
Scott had a new goal to achieve … to get this out into the hands of many other men that were suffering from the same prostate issues.
I agreed to help.
His life slowly got better … his marriage improved.
I could see a huge difference in him … he felt like he had a second chance … a greater, renewed energy for life.
He got back to work with a renewed enthusiasm.
I was glad to see him back in our social circle doing what he does best … being the best and beating us all at everything!
Life was better than ever before but Scott had forgotten about one thing …
The Doctor and the surgery deadline.
Upon being reminded, I watched the color drained from his face
“Suppose the examination still shows a problem”? he said.
“I can’t go backwards, not now, I feel like I’ve come so far”.
We had to get it over with so we booked the tests and examination.
I went to the Doctors with him and his wife … and I waited anxiously outside praying that the news would be good.
We wouldn’t know the results of the PSA test for a few weeks but the physical exam would tell much.
The door of the Doctors office opened slowly … it seemed like minutes had passed before somebody finally came through the door …
and it was Scott …
He was smiling and dancing and grabbed hold of me …
“It’s good news, I can’t believe it … the Doctor said whatever I’m doing keep doing it”!!
“No surgery then”? I asked.
“Nope … Doc said my prostate has shrunk significantly, although we’d need to keep a close eye on it”!
It really was surreal but fantastic news. I couldn’t help but reflect on everything we’d done, everything we’d gone through, the highs, the lows … the constant, tiresome search.
Jo-Ann came over and hugged me and thanked me for supporting Scott throughout this ordeal … and apologised for what had happened between us.
It was a real pleasure watching him piece his life back together and it was so great to have him back as before.
Goes to show, Doctors are not always right even though they have our best interests at heart.
If you believe that something can be achieved and you never give up, chances are you’ll accomplish your goals whether they are life threatening or not.
But … you have to really want it and do something about it.
Scott remains active and larger than life and wants others prostate sufferers to have access to the solution we both tried so hard to find.
Can’t promise others will have the same success but we need to at least make others aware of it.